Everyone thinks they know what married life is like until they get married.
Is it hard?
Is it easy?
Is it magical?
Is it mundane?
What does married life really taste like?
While we do not have any definitive answers because we still believe in the ‘no two marriages are alike’ dictum, Twitter does have a few hilarious insights. In fact, we might even go on to claim it has captured marriage perfectly. Take a look and laugh away:
1. Because you promised to ‘be there…’
Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband.
— Housy Wife (@wife_housy) July 17, 2015
2. Word.
Marriage is just texting each other “Do we need anything from the grocery store?” a bunch of times until one of you dies.
— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) July 15, 2015
3. Coz unlike what they say, keeping score is important, eh?
My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it’s going to get our kids into Harvard.
— momma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) July 26, 2015
4. You gotta play smart…
Making sure you’re the first to ask “what do you want for dinner” so you don’t have to be the one to decide. #marriedpeopleproblems
— Michelle Ames (@michelleames) January 9, 2016
5. Married peeps, ya’ll all vouch, right?
That moment when u look at the love of your life n think: I’d really like to punch u in the face right now. #MarriedPeopleIssues #TrueStory
— Crystal Brankley (@cbbrankley) August 17, 2015
6. Coz some things never change…
#FridayNights Me: “Are we going out?” Her: “I don’t know, what do you want to do” until we fall asleep on the couch #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Pej A. (@pazarm) January 8, 2016
7. #TrueLove or what?
#MarriedPeopleIssues Working hard to get fit and your spouse is an enabler armed with ice cream and pizza.
— Gwendolyn (@crankyfae) July 30, 2015
8. Truth does sting…
every night they’re on separate laptops in the same room #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Mark Warren (@bbchinigan) September 25, 2015
9. I almost thought………..almost…
I don’t CARE where you put “it” just PLEASE put “it” back in the same place every time so I can find “it.” #MarriedPeopleIssues
— DWilliamsmh (@DWilliamsmh) July 31, 2015
10. Yep, we do it for the dog. Same thing!
Cat purrs. “My cat” Cat frolics. “My cat” Cat misses litter tray. “Your cat” #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Mike Lloyd (@DrMikeLloyd) January 9, 2016
11. The things marriage makes you do…
Husband: Are u wearing my socks again? Me: maybe… #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Emily(Corcoran)Simms (@emily_simms81) January 9, 2016
12. Aha!
You maintain a silent competition to see who the dog loves more. #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Judge You Harshly™ (@JudgeYouHarshly) July 30, 2015
13. Look before you s(h)it? 😉
Nearly falling in the toilet at 3 a.m. because he left the seat up. Again. #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Megan Gonzalez (@MegDGonzalez) July 30, 2015
Suggested read: 10 amazing things your first year of marriage teaches you
14. #RealProblems
Marriage is just a series of prolonged pauses before one asks the other, “… Did you fart?”
— Amanda M. Steiner (@amandamichl) September 19, 2015
15. That’s some advice… or is it?
Your husband shouldn’t stop dating you when you get married, and you shouldn’t stop getting ready for the date. #marriagelife
— Bethany Jett (@BetJett) January 9, 2016
16. #NewAgeMarriage #MarriedLifeGoals
“Will you like my Instagram I just posted please?” “Sure.” Married life. 💕
— Josh Hafner (@joshhafner) December 29, 2015
17. How hard is it, really?
When he leaves the dishes on the counter next to the sink. But not in the sink. Or the dishwasher. Every day 😭 #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Linda Hoang (@lindork) January 9, 2016
18. Guess men, indeed, are from Mars and women from Venus!
Wife: Running low on clean underwear. Does laundry. Husband: Running low on clean underwear. Buys new underwear. #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Laur_ren (@londonsma) January 9, 2016
19. @#$^%&*
Clothes on the floor right beside the empty hamper. 😒 #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Michelle Lee (@GlitzyCoilz) January 9, 2016
20. Marriage is all about sharing, right? 😛
That moment when you realize neither of you remember whose toothbrush is whose #marriedpeopleproblems
— Cole Furfaro-Strode (@colestrode) April 12, 2015
21. Husbands and kids- same!
Send #husband to the store with the list HE asked for.. ten plus phone calls later and still not at the checkout line #MarriedPeopleIssues 😑
— breeanna perkins (@BsmallsB29) January 10, 2016
22. Marriage is overwhelming…
Dreading laundry day because you know it means folding abandoned crap in the dryer from the previous laundry day…. #MarriedPeopleIssues
— Katie Kelley (@heyheykatiek) January 9, 2016
23. When in bed… that’s not the only thing you do…
Wife: You wanna share a seltzer (can) with me? Me: Sure! Definition: Get up and get me a drink. #marriedpeopleissues #marriedlife
— Kirk-Alert (@rello000) August 20, 2015
24. …but you can’t always do what you want to do either…
Being forced to stop reading “The Martian” because “WTF its 3 a.m. can you turn off your light?” #MarriedPeopleIssues #itsareallygoodbook
— Andy Domek (@AndyDomek) August 1, 2015
25. Because what is growth, if not this…
When married w/ small children, TV shopping is basically a date. #momlife #marriedpeopleissues
— Dayna Muttaqi (@msDaynaM) January 9, 2016
26. Me neither.
“I can’t wait to take a hot shower, get in bed with you, and work on my latch hook.” Hunh. Not where I thought that was going. #marriedlife
— Sacha Brady (@zigged) December 31, 2015
27. Ohh, the questions that make you wonder…
Should we really be spending $1000 at Costco? We don’t have kids. #marriedpeopleissues
— •°Morgan°• (@morganhitt) July 30, 2015
28. By each other in sickness and health… 😛
Me: Dang, how’d I manage to marry up? Esther: I want to pop that pimple. #marriedlife pc:… https://t.co/7T2jQ1V7NK
— Jacob Fu (@jacobthefu) January 7, 2016
29. Why can’t you?
Me: “Honey, how long have these clothes been wet in the washer?” Him:”Can you just restart it?” #MarriedPeopleIssues
— DeniOsborne January 9, 2016
30. Truth be spoken…
