![](\"https:\/\/dategd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/20170919151646-48.jpg\" "\\"What")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So much anxiety!<\/strong><\/p>\n My nipples hate you.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not personal. They hate everyone.<\/p>\n They know that you want to touch them, to play with them, to lick and suck them, and they know that you\u2019re not going to do it right. And if you do it right one time, in one moment, you\u2019re immediately going to forget and go back to how you touch everyone else\u2019s nipples, and that\u2019s going to feel really BAD, and they\u2019re going to hate you again.<\/p>\n My breasts and I have a long and complicated history. <\/strong><\/p>\n I developed earlier than many of my friends in elementary school and by the age of 12, in seventh grade, I was teased a lot for having big boobs. That was also the year that bra-snapping became a favorite pastime of my classmates, regardless of gender, so wearing the thing that reined in the source of all the teasing was misery in and of itself.<\/p>\n By ninth grade, almost all of the girls had developed and surpassed me, so then my now-comparatively-small breasts became a source of mockery and stayed that way until I graduated high school.<\/p>\n When I became sexually active at the age of 15, I remember vividly laying on the scratchy navy blue couch downstairs in the family room with my boyfriend\u2019s mouth on my breasts, and exactly how it felt.<\/p>\n How awful it felt. <\/strong><\/p>\n Not painful. Just. Really. Bad. Like every nerve ending was saying NOPE!<\/p>\n I don\u2019t remember if I said anything, but probably not, because I was nervous and figured it was just a thing I needed to endure. I took my discomfort on as something wrong with me and I didn\u2019t want to admit that flaw to him since my small breasts were already such a source of shame.<\/p>\n I discovered as time went on that if I was extremely turned-on, that feeling would override the “Ugh” feeling that makes me arch my back like a cat away from anyone’s touch as I wish my nipples would invert on command (rather than randomly, of course). In exactly the right state, my partners can lick and suck away and it feels really good, and I never understood why it can\u2019t feel that way all the time.<\/p>\n When I first ventured into non-monogamy, the thrill of the newness and the transgressive nature of sleeping with people other than my spouse turned me on enough to have happy nipples during most of my encounters. I could suggest the best ways for people to touch me and I didn\u2019t feel like I had to be on guard against potential bad touch.<\/p>\n I also got to see a lot of other breasts and discovered that my own breasts are incredibly normal \u2014 attractive, even \u2014 and far from the anomaly I once considered them to be.<\/p>\n As time has gone on and the thrill has worn off \u2014 don\u2019t get me wrong, it continues to be a wonderful thing, but it doesn\u2019t have that same, stomach-flip-inducing zing it once did \u2014 my breasts have gone back to their old tricks. I have to explain in detail to each partner how to treat my nipples, usually multiple times as their focus lapses. Even feeling a sheet rub against them the wrong way is sheer misery. When I’m having sex in a doggy-style position and they\u2019re bouncing away, I have to make sure I\u2019m either not touching the sheets at all or lying completely flat on it so none of that horrible scraping happens.<\/p>\n My over-sensitivity is so strong that I even have a hard time seeing things other people\u2019s nipples engaged in activities that would be a personal hell for me. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n My poor boobs want to draw back into my body when I watch someone who likes having their breasts tortured, and I usually have to go elsewhere if I can. I feel what’s happening to them in my own body as though it\u2019s happening to me and I find that incredibly difficult to switch off.<\/p>\n Even watching my friends breastfeed their children has been quite a process, which is one of the reasons I opted out of motherhood. I barely trust responsible adults with my boobs, let alone an infant.<\/p>\n One of my biggest fears about being naked in public at play parties and the like is that someone will touch my nipples without my consent.<\/strong><\/p>\n Every time I go into a new play space, my fear and anxiety go straight to my breasts.<\/p>\n The first time I went on a swingers’ retreat I was concerned about the idea of being in the hot tub in such close proximity to grabby hands, but 99.9% of the people there were incredibly respectful. The one time someone did touch me without asking, I was wearing pasties at the time, so it wasn’t as awful as it would have been otherwise \u2014 and I promptly yelled at him.<\/p>\n Pasties and thin bras have become my go-to armor when I\u2019m feeling tender enough that any direct contact will be unwelcome. That thin layer of material is enough to filter out my overly sensitive “Ugh” nerve endings so that I can enjoy touch. In fact, I have to remind people that they can touch my nipples when I\u2019m wearing my armor, that it\u2019s one of the few safe times to have at \u2018em, but most take it as a no-fly zone when I\u2019m covered up.<\/p>\n When I\u2019m with people who know how to treat my breasts (and remember the rules through the fog of passion or between hookups), it can feel amazing. <\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve had squirting orgasms from someone sucking on them the right way. And I do I touch my own nipples through a layer of fabric like a thin t-shirt when I masturbate and it feels really good.<\/p>\n It\u2019s definitely a drawback that I don\u2019t have partners other than my husband, Flick, who I see frequently and consistently enough to have my body\u2019s rules scored into their brains. It\u2019s rare that someone I see intermittently is able to remember, and my trust has been scorched enough times that I\u2019ve found myself just leaving my bra on in more and more sexual encounters.<\/p>\n A lot of girls envied Barbie\u2122 her figure, but I always envied her nipple-free boobs. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n But since I\u2019m stuck with what I got and wishing that they were different hasn\u2019t worked wonders so far, I\u2019ll just be over here \u2014 the one in the super-cute pasties.<\/p>\n \u2018Cuz no offense, but my nipples hate you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So much anxiety! My nipples hate you. It\u2019s not personal. They hate everyone. They know that you want to touch them, to play with them, to lick and suck them, and they know that you\u2019re not going to do it right. And if you do it right one time, in one moment, you\u2019re immediately going to forget and go back to how you touch everyone else\u2019s nipples, and that\u2019s going to feel really BAD, and they\u2019re going to hate you again. My breasts and I have a long and complicated history. I developed earlier than many of my friends in <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[11],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex","tag-sex","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dategd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}